NAEYC’s HELLO online forum is a great place to have conversations and create connections with peers around important early learning issues.

Excerpts from Hello have been edited for style and length.

Question

How do you respond when children make mistakes; specifically, when they

• answer questions incorrectly, like a child who answers a question about shapes by saying
  “The moon is a triangle.”
• accidentally do something harmful, like spilling paint on another child’s clothing
• say something biased or hurtful, like “Boys are smart, and girls are dumb.”

—Ann, Illinois

Answers

The most important thing to remember when responding to a child’s “mistake” is that we are here to teach. If a child says the wrong shape, I would respond with, “You are right, a triangle is a shape. Let’s look closely at what shape the moon might be.”

In your example with the paint, our focus should be on solving the problem: “Oh, I see an accident happened. How can you help me make it better?” When we are solution-focused, we teach children that they have the power to help and feel empowered.

I would look at your last example in the same way: the child is lacking a skill or information that I need to teach. I would respond, “Hmm, that sounds very hurtful to girls. Do you remember when you were building yesterday in the block area with Sara, and the bridge kept collapsing? I could tell you were both frustrated, but you and Sara kept trying. That tells me that boys and girls can do hard things, especially when we work together.” I would focus on a growth mindset over a fixed mindset (smart vs. dumb).

—Kari, Alaska

Simple, incorrect statements tend to offer many possibilities for learning. In your first example, replacing an incorrect fact with a correct one is not the primary goal. The primary goal might be coaching the child through a process of reflection and scientific method, remembering that we are at our best when we demonstrate respect for alternate viewpoints along the way. "Oh, I see what you mean. These triangles have two pointed ends here and another part that bulges out. This crescent moon shape does the same thing."

Your third example is an opinion that we cannot let stand. These scenarios are more complicated. The opinion may have come from someone the child trusts or admires, and the critical thinking needed to address the issue may still be developing. In these cases, I usually choose brief, respectful, reasoned dissent: “I have met some people who see it that way. I don’t see it that way at all. I see how Amy and Rex each built block structures that were interesting and complex. Rex supported his in three places so that he could build it very high. Amy created a spiral pathway so that the toy horses could enter. They each built something wonderful, and I am glad for each one.”

Here you can pause and see if the child wants to add additional examples. If not, move on.

—Jeanne, California

Do you have questions or suggestions to share with your peers? Are you simply interested in reading different takes from early childhood educators around the country? Tap into the vibrant discussions on Hello.

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