A Broader Concept of Family: Strategies for Welcoming Foster Families into Early Childhood Settings
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A boy in my class is in foster care. We’re doing lessons about families, and I’m not sure how to make it inclusive for him and how to make sure that he feels comfortable. I don’t want to say anything wrong and upset him, but I don’t know why he’s in foster care or anything about his parents. I don’t want to ask the foster family because I feel like they might think I’m crossing a line.
–A preservice educator
The opening quotation is excerpted from a journal entry written by a preservice teacher as she was completing her practicum in a kindergarten setting. She was enrolled in a family engagement course we (the authors) were teaching. Like many preservice teachers, she was unfamiliar with the foster care system (Meese 2012). Her feelings of uncertainty are shared by a number of our teacher candidates: they are eager to work with foster families and create inclusive environments for children in foster care but are concerned about maintaining children’s privacy and unintentionally asking uncomfortable or intrusive questions.
Throughout their coursework, the preservice teachers in our undergraduate early childhood licensure program at the University of Massachusetts Amherst focus on how to engage with and learn from families (Herrera, Porter, & Barko-Alva 2020). As early childhood teacher educators, we support preservice teachers through their student teaching seminar and a course on family and community engagement. The course is specifically designed to focus on establishing strong communication and reciprocal relationships with families and building upon families’ and communities’ strengths to support young children’s learning and growth. To achieve this, we provide students with the resources and tools to help them meet the unique needs of children in various types of family structures. However, we have struggled to find articles and resources to help them adjust key practices of family engagement and communication to be inclusive of foster families.
In this article, we aim to support preservice and in-service early childhood educators who work with children ages 0 to 8 to learn about and apply responsive approaches that address the unique needs of foster care families. We share background information about the United States foster care system (see “The Foster Care System in the United States” at the end of this article). We also share insights gained from the experiences of foster parents, including the first author who served as a foster parent for preschool-age children. To help build reciprocal relationships (see Koralek, Nemeth, & Ramsey 2019), we outline key communication strategies educators can use with foster family members. We also offer guidance for inviting foster families to share information and for effective communication during family-educator interactions.
Responsive Communication Approaches for Foster Care Families
Max has been a foster parent for almost 10 years. Currently, he fosters Bella, a 5-year-old girl who struggles with emotional regulation, especially leading up to and on the day of visitation. Family visits have increased in preparation for reunification. Bella’s social workers have asked Max to closely document her behavior around the time of these visits. Because the visits occur during school hours, Max emails Bella’s teacher, Ms. Wanda, ahead of each visit to request information about her. However, Ms. Wanda does not respond consistently. Max grows frustrated with the lack of communication and his inability to share important information about his foster child.
Teachers have a myriad of responsibilities throughout the learning day, including balancing the individual strengths and needs of every child in their learning settings. It may feel overwhelming to carefully observe and provide documentation about one child. However, foster parents, like Max, must balance expectations from various contingents, including biological family members, social workers, court-appointed special advocate, attorneys, and so on. They are required to report about how their foster child is doing at home and in school. Therefore, they often rely on teachers to share additional information, perhaps above what educators are used to providing for families.
Research and other literature often focus on the developmental and learning needs of young children in foster care (see Meese 2012; Murray 2018; Kimmy 2021). While this information is essential, engaging with family members is also a key factor for young children’s learning and growth (Koralek, Nemeth, & Ramsey 2019). Strong family-educator partnerships are critical for children in foster care who often encounter educational instability and are at an increased risk for grade retention, exhibiting challenging behaviors, and eligibility for special education services (Gustavsson & MacEachron 2011; Noonan et al. 2012). Several of the protective factors that help children in foster care include strong adult mentors, positive peer relationships, ease of transitions between learning settings, and the stability of their various settings (home, school, and so on) (Farnsworth et al. 2022). By developing reciprocal communication with foster families and establishing consistent collaboration with everyone on a child’s team, educators can support some of these protective factors (Day et al. 2015).
Through both our experiences as educators and Danielle’s experiences as a former foster parent, we have learned that standard communication strategies do not always work for foster families’ particular contexts. Understanding foster families’ unique circumstances allows educators to more effectively address their communication needs, which is particularly critical for the children in their care whose situations often require the sharing of information among various parties (Day et al. 2015). (See “The Roles and Experiences of Foster Parents” below.)
Based on the work of Koralek, Nemeth, & Ramsey (2019), we adapted the following four strategies to support educators in establishing consistent reciprocal communication with families.
- Establish goals and objectives of communication. Communication among all parties involved in a child’s education is key to creating a network that effectively supports them. Educators can work with the other members of a child’s foster care team to establish objectives for communicating, determine what information needs to be shared, and provide ideas for enhancing communication.
- Identify the mode and format of communication. Educators have various kinds of communication to share—some requiring a response and some solely to provide families with information. Based on the purpose of the information, educators must determine which mode (phone call, email, text, letter in mail) is best for each family. An additional factor when sharing information regarding a child in foster care is what can be shared and with whom (social worker, foster family, and so on). If an educator is unsure about who they should and should not share information with, they can consult the child’s foster family.
- Establish reciprocity in communication. Educators can develop reciprocal communication with foster families by sharing information that is timely and responsive to their specific needs and by inviting foster family members to provide insights and information about their foster child. The following are questions educators can use to consider opportunities for including foster families in various communicative situations: Do foster family members know how to reach out to educators and the learning program? Is there a mechanism for them to share their opinions across various modes (phone, text, letters, and notes)? Are they involved in decision-making processes? During meetings, do family members have opportunities to give input and participate actively?
- Identify potential barriers to communication. If communication challenges arise, it is important to address them. Educators can mitigate challenges and ensure foster families’ access to information by learning about their preferred modes of communication and the language(s) they are comfortable communicating in. To foster inclusion, educators can use technological tools, such as translation apps, larger font sizes, and text-to-speech readers.
The Roles and Experiences of Foster Parents
In the following, we summarize some common experiences of non-kinship foster family members. Because adult caregivers in non-kinship placements are often referred to as foster parents, we use that term here as well.
Foster care looks different for every family, and no two placements are the same. A foster family’s primary role is to create a safe and caring home environment throughout a child’s foster care journey, which can include preparing them for reunification with their biological family or helping them transition to adoption. Foster families also provide various durations of care: some families serve as emergency placements before an established placement can be found, and some families foster the same child for several years. In addition, there are occasions when a foster family must end the placement of a child in their home and request a new home be found.
Foster care is often unpredictable and can feel destabilizing for foster parents and children in foster care alike. For example, a foster family may be caring for a child who is close to reunifying with their biological parents, but the transition plan begins to fall apart, and reunification is put on hold. Foster parents’ experiences vary, and they can have a range of emotions about the situations they encounter. Some may feel comfortable sharing information about goals for their child’s care and/or the child’s placement plan while others may not.
Additionally, depending on the situation—for example, when a child first enters foster care—a foster family may have little information about the child, which means that foster parents are learning about the child along with educators. In these cases, it is helpful for teachers to engage in frequent communication with foster parents (for example, “Mia was really excited and engaged today when I read a book about penguins”) and to mention strategies that supported the child during the learning day.
Using Intentional, Inclusive Language and Activities with Foster Families
“Language is a powerful tool” (Herrera, Porter, & Barko-Alva 2020, 27). When educators use words intentionally, they can craft clear messages of inclusion and create spaces that welcome all families. Research on LGBTQIA+ families suggests that educators can facilitate an inclusive environment by shifting language from specific labels, such as mom and dad, to more open-ended titles, such as caregiver and grown-up, and by normalizing asking children how they refer to the important people in their lives (Peixoto da Silva 2014). These strategies can be applied to be inclusive of all family structures, including foster families, and can help educators demonstrate their recognition of the important primary caregivers in a child’s life. In this section, we share two foster parents’ experiences of encountering family-related language in two different learning settings, and we offer approaches to help educators use terminology that includes a variety of family structures.
“So You Aren’t Jordan’s Real Mom?”
Maya and her husband are excited that they will be able to adopt their foster daughter, Jordan. Until the adoption is finalized, Maya will continue having visits with her biological family. Maya meets with Jordan’s new preschool teacher, Ms. Sandra, to share about the continuing visitation sessions and to discuss approaches for easing Jordan’s transition back to the classroom after each one. Maya tells Ms. Sandra, “Jordan will leave early two days a week for visits with her biological parents.”
Ms. Sandra replies, “Oh! So you aren’t Jordan’s real mom?”
The language that educators use can express bias in favor of certain family structures, such as biologically related families. This can create barriers to communication with foster families. While Ms. Sandra’s intention was not to be rude or trivialize Maya’s relationship with Jordan, terms such as “real parent” perpetuate the idea that only biological parents are primary caregivers. Educators’ interactions with families are shaped by their core values and beliefs (Mapp, Lander, & Carver 2017); this extends to children in foster care, their biological family members, and their foster parents. Because educators may be unaware of their assumptions about what constitutes a family or who goes into foster care and why, it is important for them to reflect on their beliefs about the children and families involved in the foster care system.
In our roles as teacher educators, we aim to develop preservice educators’ understanding of inclusion in relation to different family structures. To ensure that they have the skills and knowledge to create welcoming and inclusive classroom environments for all families, they read articles that focus on diverse family perspectives as a part of their coursework. We particularly focus on families who have been marginalized, misrepresented, or ignored. We also ask students to examine their beliefs about the idea of family and a family’s role in society. We want them to deeply consider this concept and how to nurture reciprocal relationships with all family members (Herrera, Porter, & Barko-Alva 2020).
Early childhood educators at any point in their careers can use the following questions as they journal, have discussions with colleagues, or engage in another kind of reflection practice.
- Do I make assumptions or privilege certain family structures, including families who are not involved in foster care?
- What are some of the underlying emotions that a foster parent may experience when communicating with me about their foster child (nervousness, fear, uncertainty, frustration)?
- How can I mindfully use language to ensure that I am sending a clear message of inclusion to foster families?
The Family Tree Assignment
Marcus opens his foster son’s backpack and finds a family tree assignment. He has had several foster children over the years, and every year, he cringes when he sees these kinds of assignments. His foster children have always struggled with the assignment, which is why it has become, for him, the “dreaded family tree assignment.”
In this case, his 7-year-old foster son, Liam, hardly has any contact with his biological family. When they sit down to complete the assignment together, Marcus sees the pain on Liam’s face as he contemplates what to write. Marcus wishes that teachers understood how alienating these activities can be.
Creating a welcoming and inclusive environment for children in foster care extends to the curriculum and activities educators use (Hofmann 2010). Marcus echoed the concerns numerous foster families have when commonly used family assignments are sent home. Often, the language in these assignments emphasizes biological families and may elicit a range of strong and negative emotions, including stress, confusion, and feeling alone or alienated, for children in foster care as well as other children who might have complex family histories (McCoy, Sabzalian, & Ender 2021). By becoming acquainted with the children’s home and family contexts, educators can responsively plan for inclusive learning experiences (Kesler 2011; Smith-D’Arezzo 2018; McCoy, Sabzalian, & Ender 2021).
One way to reimagine these types of assignments is to have young children create a family garden instead of a family tree. A family garden can include all the important people in a child’s life. Just as a garden encompasses a wide range of flowers, a family garden honors the wide range of people a child may wish to recognize. By widening the concept of family to include those who collectively provide care for a child, educators can engage with diverse children, families, and communities in an inclusive and culturally sustaining way (Quarooni 2024).
Inviting Foster Families to Share
In my (Ysaaca’s) first year of teaching kindergarten, I had an experience with a foster family that served as an example of what open communication and strong family-educator relationships can look like. A young boy, Teddy, lived with a family who had been fostering children in their home for 15 years. This child’s foster father set up a meeting with a clear goal. During the meeting, he shared important information about Teddy, including the main people in his life and details about his visitation schedule with his biological parents. This initial connection opened the door for us to build a relationship. Afterward, I felt comfortable asking questions and offering information related to my observations of the boy. The experience allowed Teddy’s foster family and me to work together to better support him.
As a first-year educator, I took my cues from the foster family, which was made easier because the foster father had worked with many teachers at many schools over the years. This experience helped to lay the groundwork for how I would approach working with foster families in the future. It gave me the confidence to reach out to them and ask questions. I have learned that not all foster family members feel comfortable taking the lead, as the father in this example did. However, foster family members are often receptive to educators who work to initiate and maintain reciprocal communication about a foster child either in face-to-face meetings or through written communication, like questionnaires and surveys.
Using Inclusive Questions During Family-Educator Interactions
Family surveys are useful tools for gathering key information, such as a child’s and family’s interests, strengths, hopes, and goals. While surveys are often shared at the beginning of the academic year, children in foster care may enroll in the middle of the year, or they may change placements. In these cases, it is beneficial to redistribute the survey. Along with being flexible about timing, educators can be flexible about how they give surveys. When they are made available online (through school messenger apps or via email), multiple people can fill them out. Additionally, online surveys can be translated for families who may need access to them in a language other than English.
Information from family surveys gives a starting point for conversations. After reviewing surveys, educators can follow up with an offer to have a conversation with foster families during a phone call, a video conference, or an in-person meeting. Open communication is important for all families, and changes can occur within any family structure; however, foster families may require more frequent check-ins to ensure that everyone is informed of relevant changes (see “Framing Questions to Include Foster Families” below).
Effective Communication During Conferences and IEP Meetings
In my (Danielle’s) former role as an early childhood educator and prior to becoming a foster parent, I had a family-educator meeting with a student’s birth mom, foster father, and a social worker. Like many educators in this situation, I had no idea who to direct my questions and suggestions to. I found the experience to be awkward and confusing, and I was preoccupied with concerns that I might offend someone. Since then, I have learned, both as a foster parent and an educator, that effective meeting outcomes begin with establishing the roles and objectives of those present.
Conferences and Individualized Education Program (IEP) meetings offer opportunities for educators to ask questions relevant to the child’s well-being in the classroom, to learn from others how to best support the child, and to determine who to contact for additional support and resources. Depending on a child’s case, multiple people might need to be present at family-educator conferences or IEP meetings. When biological family are present, they are responsible for making educational decisions for their child; however, in some cases, parental rights have been terminated. When biological families’ rights are still intact, other factors—such as lack of transportation or inability to take time off work—may play a part in their absence. Therefore, the degree of decision making by foster families varies, and at times, it is not clear who is accountable. Thus, it is necessary for educators to work with those involved toward a communication plan that includes the scope of the meeting and with whom final education decisions lie.
Due to myriad factors, a significant number of children in foster care receive special education services, which may be delivered inconsistently depending on the number and frequency of changes in placements (Farnsworth et al. 2022). Given this, it is important for teachers to be engaged and attentive to the educational strengths and needs of children in foster care and advocate on their behalf to ensure clear communication across all parties involved in a child’s education (Day et al. 2015; Farnsworth et al. 2022). IEP meetings may include additional professionals, such as education advocates, therapists, and special education teachers.
As with any child, it is important to keep in mind that the adults are meeting to ensure that the child’s strengths are recognized, their needs are being met, and responsive supports are in place for their growth and learning.
Planning for Communication During Conferences and IEP Meetings
The following are suggestions that educators can consider as they work to prepare and responsively contribute to these types of meetings.
- Consider privacy, and respect requests for confidentiality. In preparation for meetings with biological family members, foster family members, or both, teachers can ask foster families what personal details, if any, they are comfortable sharing during the meeting. For example, a foster parent may not want the biological parent to know that they have a biological child in the same classroom as the foster child. It is also important to be aware of asking questions that could potentially be inappropriate and/or violate the privacy of the child in foster care, their biological family, and/or the foster family. Examples include “What did the biological parents do [that required that their child enter foster care]?”; “When is the child going home [to the biological family]?”; “Do you [the foster family] want to adopt them?”
- Ask clarifying questions. Because foster care can be unpredictable and full of change, educators can ask foster family members questions to better understand the foster child’s experiences and how these experiences may impact the child in the learning setting. Prior to meeting, educators can prepare a list of questions, such as the following: “How long has the child been with you?”; “Does the child have any triggers that may come up in the classroom? If so, what are they, and what strategies do you use?”; “Are there any safety or security concerns we need to be aware of?”; “What is the child’s understanding of their situation?”
- Invite all parties to respond to your questions. Prior to meeting, teachers should ensure they have accurate information about who will be attending and who will be making the educational decisions for the child, such as signing the IEP. The various adults attending a conference or IEP meeting can offer different types of information, which can help to create a more complete picture of the child’s strengths, needs, and interests. Additionally, children in foster care may receive services outside of school, so teachers can use these meetings as an opportunity to coordinate support across providers. When educators invite all participants in a meeting to respond to their questions and share about the child in foster care, they create an inclusive setting with the shared goal of meeting the child’s needs.
Every family is unique and different, including foster families. Building reciprocal partnerships with foster families requires a commitment to establishing frequent and open communication that allows space for them to feel represented and heard. To learn more about foster care and foster care families in their area, educators can tap local foster care resources. In addition, they can reach out to the foster families in their settings to learn from and alongside them and to develop a learning community where all children can thrive and learn.
The Foster Care System in the United States
The foster care system in the United States provides temporary (emergency placement, short-term placement, long-term placement) or permanent (adoption) care for children (Children’s Bureau & Child Welfare Information Gateway, n.d.-a). Children are placed into foster care for a variety of reasons—such as domestic violence, abuse, and neglect—that result in situations where biological parents are unable to safely provide care. Whenever possible, children are placed in kinship arrangements with relatives (Commonwealth of Massachusetts Department of Children & Families 2024a, 2024b; Children’s Bureau & Child Welfare Information Gateway, n.d.-d). In addition to prioritizing kinship placements, federal law states that children in foster care are entitled to continue at the same school they were attending prior to entering foster care to maintain stability (Commonwealth of Massachusetts Department of Children & Families 2022).
Foster care involves a team of individuals, such as licensed foster parents, social workers, and court-appointed special advocates, which is overseen by the courts (Children’s Bureau & Child Welfare Information Gateway, n.d.-a). The goal of foster care always begins with a plan to reunify children with their biological families once it is safe to do so (Children’s Bureau & Child Welfare Information Gateway, n.d.-b; Commonwealth of Massachusetts Department of Children & Families 2024b). Biological parents are given a case plan tailored to their individual situations to address issues such as poverty, substance use, mental health, and so on (Children’s Bureau & Child Welfare Information Gateway, n.d.-c). If reunification cannot be achieved, adoption may be pursued (Children’s Bureau & Child Welfare Information Gateway, n.d.-b; Commonwealth of Massachusetts Department of Children & Families 2024b).
Further Resources About Foster Care
The following websites provide information on the foster care system and where to find information about foster care in individual states:
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Child Welfare Information Gateway
This organization’s website includes resources on the child welfare system, such as laws, policies, and research geared toward supporting children in foster care and their families. -
Children's Bureau: An Office of the Administration for Children and Families
This government website outlines the Children’s Bureau’s primary function, which is to provide support to states’ foster care systems. Additionally, the Children’s Bureau reports on case-level data, such as how many children are in foster care and why. -
Legal Center for Foster Care and Education
This organization’s website provides legal tools and resources related to education advocacy for children in foster care.
Photograph: © Getty Images
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References
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